I deleted a Blogspot this week. And a Xanga. And a Livejournal. I stopped using instant messenger months ago, and I've been MySpace free for a good, long while. But as of yet, I've not given too many people much of a reason as to why the heck I've forgone my fondness for electronic communities like MySpace and instant messengers like AIM. Sometimes, it's tough to explain. Let me tell you a little about technology, and maybe that will help.

The Internet is the favorite technological advancement for a lot of people. Turn on your computer, open up a browser and enter a whole new world of information and communication. In an instant, you can view the mug shots of people you used to know, get driving directions from your house to anywhere in the nation and "talk" in real time with friends or strangers in countries you'll never even see for yourself. Nobody can deny that this stuff is cool. Advancements in technology initially seem to make us a more connected society. But I believe that's far from the truth. In fact, before I ended my relationships with AIM and MySpace, I felt more disconnected than I've ever felt before.

How well do you really know these guys?

All right, my so called addictions to AIM and MySpace and text messaging on my cell phone weren't as bad as I make them out to be. It's not like I ever turned down chances to spend time with friends so that I could stay home to update my MySpace. But I "maintained" relationships with people whose voices I could never remember because their words to me almost always came through in various fonts and our communication was always mediated by the screens of my computer and my phone. I became lost in a controllable world that didn't even exist.

And what an amazing world that is! Where else can you change the way you look - the way others will see you and the way you will see yourself - as soon as you notice a "flaw?" Where else can you become invisible whenever you decide that you should be left alone by clicking a tiny eye shaped button? Where else can you explain to the world who you are, what you are, why you are the way you are and how you became that way? And where else can you change the answers to all of those questions whenever you're bored with the ones that are "true" today?

I thought of AIM as a great way for a writer to communicate. After all, it's easier for me to explain things more clearly in writing than vocally. I excused MySpace as an electronic community great for keeping in touch with my friends, classmates, random strangers, good musicians, etc. But the longer I used it, the more it fostered a sickening obsession with myself, even if it did take me forever to notice that. My electronic community "great for keeping in touch" gave me a reason to take pictures of myself on every good hair day and to talk about myself in detail. Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." Now, don't get me wrong. I never used MySpace to portray myself as someone I am not. But think about that: "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself."

We throw ourselves into situations (more commonly known as profiles) in which we must tell the world about ourselves. We pick and choose what people will know about us - what of us they will experience. And, subconsciously or not, we conceal the things we dislike; the things we fear will cause our friends to turn away; the things we fear will keep the new people to whom we're drawn from approaching us. And in reality, these things that we call our "flaws" cannot and should not be hidden. We are human, and it's ok to be flawed.

The more we become used to creating flawless images for ourselves in virtual worlds, the harder it will become to accept ourselves in real life, where you can't contain your embarrassingly loud laughter; where you can't constantly position your face at angles that make your nose look smaller; where the people who meet you won't know your interests and your favorite movies at a glance and where it will take much more than just one meeting before you feel a sense of intimacy with the people that you meet.

Life is so much easier on MySpace, but we were never promised easy lives. That's why I chose to run from these things as fast as I could. I want to hear voices when I talk to people, and overcome social hurdles, and talk to strangers while I wait in line at my university's bookstore. I want to make eye contact and be able to read body language that I'll probably over analyze. And you know what? That's ok. That's reality.